What 10 Days of Silence Taught me about Communication

The irony isn't lost on me. As the author of the upcoming book Speak Up – How to Be a Successful Presenter and Media Spokesperson, I've recently spent ten days on a silent meditation retreat in the Blue Mountains.

What I learned about communication when I was silent for 10 days.

Yes, that's right. Ten days of no talking. No eye contact. No phone. No email. No news. No reading or writing. No vigorous exercise. No physical contact. And – no dinner. 

The Vipassana Meditation Centre in the Blue Mountains ran a tight ship: men and women were segregated; separate walking paths, separate doors, separate dining areas. The first gong woke us at 4 am and the last lecture and group meditation finished at 9 pm.

Despite these deprivations, it was a transformative experience that I would do again and encourage others to do, if they're interested in taming their 'monkey mind' and going deep within.

The view from the dining room of the Vipassana Centre in Blackheath

There were definitely times I wanted to run away but after day three my mind began to quieten and I was able to stay in the moment to enjoy a sunset, a storm, the wildflowers and birdlife. I had a memorable close encounter with a kangaroo, as well as an alarming near miss with a large black snake.

One day, I sat and observed some ants going about their business, something I haven't done since I was a kid.

Six to eight hours of meditation a day is not for the faint-hearted.

Three times a day, we were instructed to sit perfectly still for an entire hour—no changing posture, no scratching, no fidgeting—just observing the sensations in and on our bodies. At times, the pain in my knees and shoulder blades felt like red-hot pokers.

This was my second Vipassana retreat. Twenty-six years ago, I experienced bouts of anger and frustration while meditating. This time, I had moments of clarity—epiphanies about relationships, gratitude, and what truly matters.

Taking time to smell the wildflowers.

So, what does silence have to do with communication?

While I wasn't allowed to speak to the women around me, I could observe them—how they walked, how they held themselves, how they ate, and the clothes they chose to wear. In the silence, their non-verbal language was loud and clear.

I gave my fellow meditators secret nicknames.

• Pippi Longstocking — the jaunty, thin woman in stripey leggings with pom-poms on her socks, who ate every meal with gusto.

• The Serene One — a graceful Japanese woman who practised Tai Chi each morning and bowed respectfully to her bowl of porridge before eating.

• The Tree Hugger — a smiling, young woman who wrapped her arms around gum trees.

• Back step Beanie — an elderly woman in a hand-knitted hat who walked uphill backwards.

• And The Vigilant One, who broke her silence to warn me I was about to step on a snake — she was the first person I thanked on day 10.

When we were finally allowed to speak again, it was a joy to see everyone re-animate, to make eye contact, to hear their voices and laughter and share our stories.

Many of us wished we could give up our phones forever.

It's been a couple of weeks since returning to 'normal life.'

 While my daily meditation practice has been a little patchy, I'm noticeably less reactive to life's up and downs.

And perhaps most importantly, I'm paying closer attention to non-verbal cues—something that's important for every presenter and spokesperson who wants to improve their on-stage presence. Because before we even open our mouths to speak, we are communicating through the way we move, our posture, clothing, gestures, energy levels and facial expressions.

If you’d like more tips on mastering your presence, messages and delivery, here are some next steps:

✨ Pre-order my new book Speak Up:

• New South Publishing – Speak Up

✨ Build your communication skills:

• Take my online presenting + media training course

• Download my free media resources

• Book a tailored in-person workshop for your team

• Sign up for my monthly newsletter for more presenting tools, tips and offers

✨ Ready to master your mind?

• Try a 10-day Vipassana course at one of the centres around Australia.

---

Enrol in in the TM Media and Presentation Skills online course and get a bonus one-on-one online session with me

TM Media's online presentation and media interview skills course empowers experts to share their expertise and experience with a wider audience

Want to refresh your media and presentation skills, or introduce a colleague to these techniques?

TM MEDIA's new online course features all the tools, tips and structures of my face-to-face workshop plus a one-hour zoom call with me to practise your interview skills and receive one-on-one feedback.

Enrol Now